I’ve been playing video games for most of my life and I have never, ever, even once been any good at them. My mum is great. So are my brothers, but I have the kind of self esteem that tells me if I can’t do something Right™ the first time it’s because I’m a terrible horrible loser of a person and that I should never ever try again ever because everyone will find out how much of a loser I am and then they’ll hate me and go away forever. (more…)
“I’m starting The Witcher 3 and Geralt is my dad now.” I made this bold declaration on Twitter as I began my 130+ hour love affair with The Witcher 3, which to this day remains one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. It took playing a few other games to realize I have a type when it comes to games. I call this genre “Sword Dads.” Like the name implies, these games have at least one character with a daditude (that’s a “dad attitude” for you newcomers) and an often comically large sword.
I categorize Sword Dads loosely. Blood relation to a child can be a factor, but it isn’t necessary. A Sword Dad can be anyone, really. What matters is having a sort of fatherly attitude/mentoring role/proclivity for dad jokes aimed at a younger character. Per the name, a Sword Dad will also ideally carry a big sword or two, though other weapons may count, too.
We love Sword Dads here at Sidequest and are excited to bring you a definitive ranking of the most dangerous, dadliest dads in video games.
Editor’s note: The following entries may contain spoilers. See a Dad from a game you don’t want to be spoiled for? Skip it! Also, you’ll notice below that the nominees aren’t ranked—you, the reader, will have the power to decide on the ultimate Sword Dad. Give us your thoughts below!
Editor’s note 2.0, 1/7/2019: Vote on best Sword Dad right through here! Each tier will last 24 hours, so vote right the heck now.
Madison Butler writes about advertising by day and about video games the rest of the time. She can usually be found crying about Final Fantasy and Nier: Automata on Twitter @madisonrbutler.
When I finished playing Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance, I began considering why I game so much. My gaming has especially picked up since I left my PhD program to write and moved across the country to where my husband is doing his graduate work. I’ve dedicated over 150 hours into Breath of the Wild. I’ve played the first 13 chapters of Path of Radiance at least four times. I’ve beaten New Super Mario Bros. U, played through most of the first Pikmin and Pokemon Sun, upgraded my house fully in Animal Crossing, played all the levels in Pokemon Snap, and seen the betrayal in Tales From The Borderlands. Among other games, of course, and not even counting all the board games and phone games I’ve been playing. (Check out my new favorite phone game if you haven’t already!) I’ve gamed more in the past few months than I have in years.
Tamora Pierce, the author who created Tortall, has been critical to my growth as a writer and a person. (I should have known I was non-binary when I tried to bind my chest like Alanna, but also still wanted to be a girl!) Loving Tortall as much as I do means that I’m always on the hunt for things that remind me of it. As a gamer, any game that can even hint at Tortall is a win for me. (more…)
I’ve always liked big guys. Despite being a short lady (or perhaps because of it), some part of me is intrinsically drawn to tall, boorish, weirdly animal-like men. I’ve got a mental vault of inappropriate fantasies about characters like Killer Croc, Obadiah Horn, and zombie Gregor Clegane—fantasies that are probably rooted in my childhood love of Prince Adam’s barbarous visage in Beauty and the Beast, or maybe even further back, in the days of Johnny Bravo (damn, those muscles were huge!) and Dragon Tales (damn, those… scales were shiny?). (more…)
Stephani is a former computer science nerd with a predilection for shoddy paranormal romance novels, cream-cheese-based frostings, and animals ten times her size. She’s inexplicably struck with a fatal case of fumble fingers every time she touches a controller—except when challenged to a match of her secret specialty: the 1995 hit SNES puzzle game Tetris Attack.