Sidequest’s Definitive Ranking of Sword Dads, Part I

Sidequest’s Definitive Ranking of Sword Dads, Part I

“I’m starting The Witcher 3 and Geralt is my dad now.” I made this bold declaration on Twitter as I began my 130+ hour love affair with The Witcher 3, which to this day remains one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. It took playing a few other games to realize I have a type when it comes to games. I call this genre “Sword Dads.” Like the name implies, these games have at least one character with a daditude (that’s a “dad attitude” for you newcomers) and an often comically large sword.

I categorize Sword Dads loosely. Blood relation to a child can be a factor, but it isn’t necessary. A Sword Dad can be anyone, really. What matters is having a sort of fatherly attitude/mentoring role/proclivity for dad jokes aimed at a younger character. Per the name, a Sword Dad will also ideally carry a big sword or two, though other weapons may count, too.

We love Sword Dads here at Sidequest and are excited to bring you a definitive ranking of the most dangerous, dadliest dads in video games.

—Maddi Butler

Editor’s note: The following entries may contain spoilers. See a Dad from a game you don’t want to be spoiled for? Skip it! Also, you’ll notice below that the nominees aren’t ranked—you, the reader, will have the power to decide on the ultimate Sword Dad. Give us your thoughts below!

Editor’s note 2.0, 1/7/2019: Vote on best Sword Dad right through here! Each tier will last 24 hours, so vote right the heck now.

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Metal Gear: The Weird Difference Distance Makes

I don’t like playing Metal Gear. I love experiencing Metal Gear. I love Solid Snake. Because I love him because there is enough in the game to make me love him, enough character interaction and gameplay opportunity to ask me to love him and exhibit why I might stick around, and because I stick around I learn. Loving is learning, and learning lets you know how to love. One of the things I learnt about (sideways, through a prism) was the Cold War. That’s kind of a joke, calling it “one” of the “things.” Metal Gear pretty much teaches you that war is everywhere, all the time, and “cold” warfare just means it’s hot somewhere else. There’s a character named Hot Coldman. (more…)

Metal Gear Survive(s)

Metal Gear Survive has the best concept it possibly could, given the situation. Metal Gear, the Konami video game franchise, was created and showrun by Hideo Kojima until the latter left the former under a cloud. It featured five main games and several supplemental ones, all of which served a narrative that effectively became a family saga: The story of a man and his mentor, and how the sons he didn’t know he had changed the world. It’s a war story, or a story about soldiers, or a political epic, or etc. It’s rather good, and it has intense investment from a wide swathe of fans and players. Metal Gear Survive is the first Metal Gear game to be announced since Kojima’s departure–oh no! How can Metal Gear survive (he he) without the King’s hand to guide it? (more…)