Why I Hate Crisis Core: Part II, Jenova Boogaloo

Why I Hate Crisis Core: Part II, Jenova Boogaloo

Here we are again, thanks for coming to the reunion! Now that I’ve outlined the different cast members of this play, how do they perform? Well, not great!

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Why I Hate Crisis Core: Part I

Why I Hate Crisis Core: Part I

Never have I ever been more livid at finishing a game than Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core on the PSP. Staring at the credits in order to assign blame for this travesty, my head was a storm of feelings that I couldn’t fully put into words. Now, with some time away and no longer being a teenager, I want to go over the game’s narrative that so fully filled me with rage. Thankfully, wonderful folks down over on the internet have the full cutscenes of both the original and the remaster. I’m not here for debate. I’m here as an old school FFVII fan with a chip on their shoulder, so let’s mosey.

The following contains spoilers for Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core. The game contains instances of war, suicide, and body horror. (more…)

January Roundtable: Sequels

January Roundtable: Sequels

Every year in recent memory has felt like a sequel to the last. Literally, of course, in that time marches ever forward, but also thematically, if the real world can be said to have a theme. New year, same topics. We’re in year three of a sustained pandemic, capitalism continues to ruin everything, and every week is a fresh deluge of news about exploitation in the gaming industry. So what better topic for this cheery occasion of turning over the calendar than sequels? (more…)

A Final Fantasy-Themed Gift Guide for The Person in Your Life Who Won’t Shut Up About Final Fantasy

A Final Fantasy-Themed Gift Guide for The Person in Your Life Who Won’t Shut Up About Final Fantasy

Do you know someone who loves Final Fantasy? Who is absolutely obsessed with it? Who has “Final Fantasy is my special interest” on their gift guide for the holidays?

Hi, I’m Ennis, and I love Final Fantasy XIV, the award-winning MMO with a free trial up to level 60, including the heartbreakingly good Heavensward expansion. I also read a frankly unhinged amount of Final Fantasy XV fanfiction because Prompto is the goodest boy. I’m here with my Etsy wishlist to tell you what gifts you should get for your obsessed friend. (more…)

June Roundtable: Beach Episode

June Roundtable: Beach Episode

I can’t speak for everybody, but my brain is fried lately. You know what I need? You know what we all need? A beach episode. We need rest and relaxation and hijinx. This month, we’re talking about which games are really just beach episodes, which games need a beach episode, and more! (more…)