Nine Ways Final Fantasy III Hates You

Nine Ways Final Fantasy III Hates You

Final Fantasy III: a game sitting in my DS case forever but for some reason, never completed. “Why not?” I wondered to myself. “It’s a Final Fantasy game, I should love those.” So I pulled it out again and decided to beat it once and for all. Quickly, I discovered why I’d put it down in the first place: this game actively wants to spite you. I have never played a game that shows such continual contempt for the person running it. (more…)

May Roundtable: Pop Music in Video Games

May Roundtable: Pop Music in Video Games

Video games and pop music. Who’d have thunk it? Marketing departments, probably. But marketing or no marketing, we have some thoughts on the ways video games are using pop music, and, most importantly, why any game that hasn’t asked Carly Rae Jepsen to do the soundtrack has made a grave misstep. (more…)

February Roundtable: Shipping, Romance, and Boats

February Roundtable: Shipping, Romance, and Boats

It’s February! The most romantic of months, if you are invested in holidays and not a stone-cold cynic like I am. I’m kidding, I love romance and mush, especially when it’s in games and therefore not forced upon me by greeting card companies and Target’s candy aisle.

Here at Sidequest, some of us love the mushy, lovey-dovey stuff, some of us don’t, and some of us want to talk about boats. Naturally, this month’s topic of discussion is shipping, so let’s get into it!

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Sidequest’s Definitive Ranking of Sword Dads, Part I

Sidequest’s Definitive Ranking of Sword Dads, Part I

“I’m starting The Witcher 3 and Geralt is my dad now.” I made this bold declaration on Twitter as I began my 130+ hour love affair with The Witcher 3, which to this day remains one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. It took playing a few other games to realize I have a type when it comes to games. I call this genre “Sword Dads.” Like the name implies, these games have at least one character with a daditude (that’s a “dad attitude” for you newcomers) and an often comically large sword.

I categorize Sword Dads loosely. Blood relation to a child can be a factor, but it isn’t necessary. A Sword Dad can be anyone, really. What matters is having a sort of fatherly attitude/mentoring role/proclivity for dad jokes aimed at a younger character. Per the name, a Sword Dad will also ideally carry a big sword or two, though other weapons may count, too.

We love Sword Dads here at Sidequest and are excited to bring you a definitive ranking of the most dangerous, dadliest dads in video games.

—Maddi Butler

Editor’s note: The following entries may contain spoilers. See a Dad from a game you don’t want to be spoiled for? Skip it! Also, you’ll notice below that the nominees aren’t ranked—you, the reader, will have the power to decide on the ultimate Sword Dad. Give us your thoughts below!

Editor’s note 2.0, 1/7/2019: Vote on best Sword Dad right through here! Each tier will last 24 hours, so vote right the heck now.

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