Welcome back to Postgame, Sidequest’s monthly, formerly Patreon-exclusive podcast, where the editors lay down hot takes on cold games. This month, Melissa, Zora, Zainabb, and Maddi play the extremely cursed mobile game My Horse Prince, a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad game about a girl dating a horse with a human face.

Timestamps and topics:

  • My Horse Prince spoilers throughout
  • A somewhat spoilery discussion of The Shining (the movie and the book) around 46:30–50:30

Pieces we mentioned:

Pieces we didn’t mention but you might like:

Theme music is Bass Thee by Alexander Nakarada, used under Creative Commons 0.

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Excerpt:

 

Melissa Brinks: I detest Yuuma with every fiber of my being. I hate him. I hate the way his ears twitch when I answer a question quote-unquote “correctly.”

Zainabb Hull: It’s—oh my God. yeah. It’s so gross.

Melissa: I don’t know what it is about that gesture, particularly, but I’m like, “Don’t do that.” I don’t like it.

Zainabb: It’s because it’s like slightly—no, maybe I shouldn’t say. This isn’t gonna be—I’ll say it, I don’t care. For me—so, for people listening, the talk mechanic, the idea is that you fill up your energy and you talk by talking to Yuuma. The energy allows you to pick up the items that have fallen, which progresses the story bar. And so you have the talk mechanic, it refills on a timer. You can watch an ad as well to get an extra one. And he’ll ask you a question. There’s three options. One of them is going to be a bad answer, and that will deplete your energy, but you’ll always be given a chance to reset by watching an advert, which I did every single time.

Zora Gilbert: Yup. Me too.

Maddi Butler: Mm-hm.

Zainabb: I’m not prolonging this experience.

Zora: I will NOT make the horse boy sad.

Zainabb: One of them is good, and that gives you like, 15%, and one of them’s excellent, which gives you 30% energy. And it’s on the excellent answer that he does this little twitch thing with his ears. And the thing for me is, it was like—I probably really shouldn’t say this. It made me think he’s just got a boner.

[LAUGHTER]

Zainabb: That’s the feeling that that gesture gave me and it made me uncomfortable every single time.

Zora: Oh no!

Melissa: It’s not not suggestive.

Zora: I have a question for you guys. Have you ever seen a horse boner?

Zainabb: Yes. There’s none of that in this game. There are twitching ears though.

Missy: I mean—

Zora: They do NOT play.

Zainabb: That kind of twitches, I suppose, a lot of the time, doesn’t it? Anyway, sorry.

Melissa: Not to talk too much about the potential for horse boners, but—

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