After a short comic surmising the Royal Crown’s effect on another character in the Mario franchise, a new star was born—Bowsette, the horned and busty female-bodied version of Bowser. Twitter, being full of thirsty humans, latched onto this idea like a Chain Chomp, and fanart, cosplays, and comics exploded forth. And a lot of it is very good, buuut, Rule 34 being what it is, searching the tags #Bowsette or #クッパ姫 (Koopa-hime, Princess Koopa) can be a game of NC-17 Russian Roulette. So for those who are thirsty but reading this at work, I have provided some of my favorite SFW takes on the lizard princess who gives no fucks.

Tukudani01’s take says “Waga hai!”


volittas_art’s Bowsette is doing what Bowsette does best: kidnapping Peach.


I love the tusks on Pixel_Chikki’s Bowsette.


VinnyLikesBeads did a pixel art take on both blonde (Peach-influenced) and redheaded (Bowser-influenced) Bowsette.


Ikiruse’s Bowsette really taps into the lizard barbarian aesthetic, I think.


AngryangryD reminds me of every fantasy anime I ever marathoned in college.


Rhesymn does Bowsette in her tux, which greatly pleases my women-in-suits thirst.


NegaNeon hits us right in the feels with this brilliant take on the recent Nintendo Direct animation of Bowser and Bowser Jr.


AmuseFactory brought Bowsette to life in 3D via balloons!


kekeflipnote gives Bowsette a proper magical girl transformation, complete with Mario theme music.


Revolocities reverses direction by putting Peach in a Koopa shell (and then having Bowsette sweep him off his feet).


MikeLLunsford offers up my favorite of the alternate -ettes, Peachyboo!


Gabigabigaba brings out an excellent Bob-omb-ette.


Kamindani does a lovely Chompette.


Gamepal1 brings us Piranette.


Yiszy1 has figured out where Inklings come from:


akaimono animates up Bowsette and Chain Chomp fun.


LayZKimochi summarizes the #Bowsette hashtag:


And finally, thebourgyman realizes we have all gone mad with Bowsette power and that it’s gone too far.