There are supposedly 31 days in January, but I am pretty sure someone cut out at least 15 of them. My plans and resolutions to get organized for 2018 have subsequently already fallen behind and here we are in February, trying to play catch up. Thankfully, I did manage to carve out some free time this weekend so some of my catch up includes downtime to get back into some neglected games. I finally finished Telltale Game’s Guardians of the Galaxy, which continued its efforts to rip my heart out and make me cry at every turn. At least some of those tears were tears of joy. I also got back to my little warlock in Destiny 2 and teamed up with my favourite tank to save the galaxy. Or, whatever it is I’m supposed to be doing. I don’t know. I just follow along and try not to die too often.

In other news…!

Hold on to Your Turtle Shells

Nintendo recently announced on Twitter that a Mario Kart Tour game would be heading to smartphones in the spring of 2019. On the same day, Nintendo also announced that our favourite plumber would be heading to the big screen. Mario creator Shigeru Miyamoto is listed as a co-producer on the animated film, alongside the people who brought us Ice Age and Despicable Me, Illumination Entertainment. Super Mario fans have a lot to look forward to in the next little while!

Super Mario World (1991)

Cheaters Never Prosper

The “King of Kong,” speedrunner Billy Mitchell could be stripped of his world records after a fan site discovered that he may have been using an emulator to achieve his high scores in the game Donkey Kong. has removed three of Mitchell’s high scores from their ranking, dropping him from 20th place to 47th place.

Meanwhile, Twin Galaxies has removed Todd Rogers’ Dragster score from their records and has alerted Guinness World Records of their decision. Since 1982, Rogers’ 5.51 second race time, confirmed by Activision based on a photo he provided them, has been undefeated and even earned a second Guinness World Record in 2001 for the longest standing video game record. But, as with Mitchell, fans take these records seriously and have done their research. Evidence suggests that it is technically impossible to obtain a score of fewer than 5.57 seconds in Dragster, meaning Rogers’ score was falsified. Rogers adamantly defended himself last year, but it seems that the findings of computer engineer Eric Koziel carry greater weight with Twin Galaxies.

Open the Pod Bay Doors, Sam

Ubisoft’s new personal gaming assistant, Sam, went into beta testing in Canada last week for Android and iOS. Available to Ubisoft Club members, the system works with text chat messages on your phone, or with voice commands to provide answers to your everyday gaming questions and can analyze your gaming profile.

Ubisoft Club - Sam Personal Gaming Assistant

Source: Ubisoft

“As an example, for our beta version,” explains Damien Moret, brand director at the Ubisoft Club, “we’re testing the Daily Login, a personalized notification for Rainbow Six Siege players that is pushed when you launch the game. So each time you start the game, Sam analyzes your profile, your game patterns, and game behavior. It will then give you links to video tips from the community that specifically fit to your profile. It might explain how to use a specific weapon better or leverage map strategies.”

Will the villagers get mad if I kill their chickens, Sam? Will they? These are the important things I need to know. Preferably before Sam becomes self-aware.

PC Gamer’s Weekender Will Help You Get Your Game On

On February 17 and 18, experts will share their expertise and provide tips on how to break into the gaming industry. From community managers to animators, the Get Into Games section speakers will share their experiences and insights to help you build your own future career in the industry. Tickets for the Weekender are available online.

Industry Numbers, Predictions, and Evolutions

Ever-changing technology is shaping every aspect of our lives, and the gaming industry is at the forefront of these changes. The latest evolution is blockchain, which is a data structure and associated set of algorithms for distributing, storing, and accessing data. It is an integral part of authentication and authorization, and will likely be the foundation of virtual currency transactions. That means that the billions of dollars being spent in-game is only going to increase as developers make it easier and more secure to hand over our cash for virtual goods. The realm of online gaming continues to evolve, while China and the Southeast Asian gaming industry continues to dominate the mobile games market, with analysts predicting that this will not change anytime soon.

Games Bleat

Welcome to Games Bleat! I’m Joesph, and I’ve communing with the elder gods all week to bring you games and deals that are just beyond the realm of human comprehension!

Nintendo 3DS

Now for those unfamiliar releases you may have missed! Hitting the PC platform for the first time is my all time favorite Square Enix game, Final Fantasy 12! It’s got beautiful scenery, an engaging (if not overly complex) story, and gameplay more like a logic puzzle than a turn-based RPG.

Along some of the same lines is Bold Blade the “action RPG where your sword just keeps getting bigger.” For those more interested in some multiplayer action is Super Slime Arena, a smash-like where all the characters are adorable slimes with terrifying powers!

As always, if you’re looking for something more atmospheric, I’ve got your back. Yume Nikki is a RPG Maker horror game that’s just hit Steam for the first time. It takes the player through a dark and surreal dreamscape of a housebound Madotsuki and offers no goals, but many mysteries. For those interested in something newer there’s Genderwrecked, a visual novel exploring the concept of gender and promising the ability to kiss, talk to, and fight MULTIPLE monsters.

And that’s it for this week’s bleat. I hope something here helps quiet that one pesky regret keeping you up at night! If not, come back next week for more news, deals, and releases!