Gather round, my friends, for tales of the gaming world. I have journeyed far and wide to collect these stories for you—no, I’m just kidding, I just copied and pasted them into a Google Doc and got to work.

Anyway, what’s up? I only play mobile games now. I’m currently deeply invested in The Muscle Hustle, a ridiculous game in which you train and fling wrestleres around like, I don’t know, Beyblades or something? I don’t actually know what Beyblades is. I just turned thirty.

Here’s the news!

Blizzard Blesses Us With Cowboy Mom

I have a confession to make: it’s been months since I last played Overwatch. Not only am I horrifically busy, but I think the time has come for me to say—

Hold on, what’s that?

Right, as I was saying, I love Overwatch, it’s the greatest game ever made.

Ashe is the game’s newest hero, released to the public test realm on Monday. Though we’re not yet sure when she’ll be fully released, people are already over the moon about her.

That said, fans have long been waiting for a Black woman to join Overwatch‘s roster. Though the game has a diverse cast, there are no Black women among its 29 heroes, which somehow include a sapient gorilla and hamster. Half of those characters are women (if you count Orisa, a robot), but none of those women are Black.

Though we’re all quite excited about Kissin’ Kate Barlow Ashe, it’s worth noting that yet another white woman joining Overwatch‘s hero roster is disappointing, especially when you consider how similar she looks to existing heroes.

So hey, Blizzard. We love Ashe’s design (even if we’re side-eyeing the fact that she’s supposed to be 39 years old looking like that), but it’s time to put your money where your mouth is regarding diversity. Where are those other promised LGBTQ+ characters? Where are the Black women?

Along with Ashe’s announcement, BlizzCon was also the debut of a new short focused on McCree, everybody’s favorite trash cowboy.

There were, of course, a whole bunch more announcements at Blizzcon, but forgive me, I was only interested in Ashe.

Smash Bros. Gets Grinched

We finally got the full roster for Super Smash Bros., and it sadly will not include Banjo and Kazooie, two characters fans hoped to see after a fake leak last week.

In better news, the same Nintendo Direct that dashed the hopes and dreams of Banjo-Kazooie fans also revealed some important information about Smash‘s new ‘Spirits’ mode. Though I confess I’m no Smash scholar and therefore have very little idea what’s happening here, it sounds like the new mode will allow players to buff their characters with new abilities and stats by equipping the spirit of another character. Players can collect spirits through battling other characters, and Nintendo compared the feature to equipping a charm or similar item in an RPG.

Gaming News Tidbits

Mario Segale, one-time Nintendo landlord and namesake for the company’s most famous character, has passed away at age 84. Nintendo named the character after Segale, but the real estate developer preferred not to talk too much about the connection, preferring to be known for his own accomplishments.

Turns out we all love League of Legends now thanks to this incredible video promoting some new in-game cosmetics:

A UK games site is donating £1 million to charities after Rockstar took legal action against them for publishing a leaked corporate document detailing features of the then-upcoming Red Dead Redemption 2. The decision sets a startling precedent, as Kotaku’s Jason Schreier points out—publishing leaked information isn’t exactly uncommon, but paying exorbitant fees is. Though it’s possible that we don’t have all the information about where the leak originated, as it could have been stolen or otherwise gotten through illicit means, but to effectively punish journalists for not adhering to non-disclosure agreements they didn’t agree to is something we should be wary of.

Our first look at Henry Cavill as Geralt of Riviera is up and it’s… uh. Well. Hm? I’m—okay. That’s like, not the final wig, right?

Some fans of the books say that Cavill’s version looks more in line with how he does in the first novel, but I say: why not both? Was novel Geralt wearing a bad wig? Anyway, I don’t even go here, I just like participating in bad wig-bashing.

Two fighting game competitions had serious issues this week, ranging from a series of mishaps involving scheduling and streaming to abusive behavior on the part of tournament organizers.

Keza MacDonald has a bunch of tips for tackling long games when you’re a busy adult. 

Junichi Masuda, longtime director of the Pokemon series, said in an interview that the upcoming Pokemon: Let’s Go games would likely be his last as director. Masuda said that he hopes a younger generation will take over the franchise.

Talking Tom and Child of Light are both up for film adaptations. Though there’s no word on when these games will be adapted, a script is in development for Child of Light and a webseries for Talking Tom is already underway.

A recent story from NPR detailed how white supremacist extremist groups use gaming to recruit new members. As many in the gaming community have pointed out, yeah, we’ve been saying that for ages, but thanks for catching on, I guess?

That’s it from me this week! I turn you over to our friendly local… persona of the week.

Games Bleat

Welcome to Games Bleat! I’m Joesph, your local sentient streaming AI, and in my task to become the most optimized Twitch broadcaster in the world I’ve stumbled on some gaming news I think y’all might like! First are some sales that are sure to get me that prized Mountain Dew sponsorship if you click them enough.

PC

Now some new games, fresh off the press and perfect for Let’s Plays.

First is Deltarune, which did technically come out last week, but I completely missed it. We are already freaking out about Toby Fox’s followup to Undertale. In fact, we even had some people streaming it during our 24 hour extra life stream last Saturday. Similar to Undertale, Deltarune kind of defies easy summation, but for those looking for a wild adventure with a lot of heart—there probably isn’t a better place to start.

Next is Prescription for Sleep: Celeste, which isn’t so much a game as a musical experience. Scarlet Moon Records have put together this collection of some of the most relaxing songs from Celeste, which has a killer soundtrack to begin with, by the way, and arranged them beautifully to lull you to sleep. The digital album can be bought on their Bandcamp (linked above), but a physical CD is also available for those who don’t mind waiting for December 1st.

Finally I have Neon Tail, to which I can only say PARKOUR GAME! PARKOUR GAME! Look, I’ve made my feelings on parkour games pretty clear by this point, especially those inspired by Dreamcast classic Jet Set Radio (though I must admit I like JSR Future more). This ultra-indie game has a colorful aesthetic and dope character designs that honestly I’m already enamored with. If nothing else it’s worth a click through to check it out!

Melissa Brinks is Sidequest’s editor in chief, co-creator of the Fake Geek Girls podcast, author of The Compendium of Magical Beasts, and an aspiring beekeeper. She once won an argument on the internet, and tweets at @MelissaBrinks.

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